When Petty Happens

It was Sunday morning. 

I was up early, battling pain from the night’s war to claim a place in my bed. There was too much to be done and I was frozen in perplexity about tackling it all. A stroke of genius zapped me like lightning: Enlisting help was the key to accomplishment for the day!

Delegating extra tasks in my home looks like God’s wrath on Ramses’ kingdom, so I don’t do it often!

With confidence and pride in my genius, I entered the bedroom where Johnny lingered. He was replacing batteries in a dismantled toy for our girls. 

“Babe, do you mind starting breakfast so I can get other stuff done?” I asked cheerily in that desperate sort of way.

“No. I can’t. I’m busy. *pause* I’m not trying to be mean baby but I have to get outside and get to work on the cars. It’s going to be an all-day process and…”

On and on he went, explaining himself and his fix-everything plight but I was stuck on two words, “no” and “busy.” I mean really… did the mofo just tell me no? And did he really say that he’s busy?

Did he not grasp the magnitude of all the things I had to do? Obviously not, but who’s busier than me, a mom? Everything I accomplish has to be done with distractions kids attached to my brain, eyes, ears, hands, nerves, hips, and feet! What could he possibly know about being busy?

Breathe. Just breathe.

Yes… I went there. I called the love of my life a mofo. I checked out and allowed my emotions to take over. Even worse, my alter ego, Tanesha, showed up and mentally downplayed his equally overwhelming workload for the day. Tanesha is a real bish when unleashed, so I lassoed her like runaway cattle and tucked her away quickly!

I knew I was being irrational but I couldn’t deny my feelings. I also knew I was going to make him regret his answer somehow. My butt-hurt-ness refused to allow me to suffer alone!

I hate when my petty happens.

After gathering what was left of my pride, my hopes for the day, and finally rebuking the evil that tried to claim me, I came to terms with reality. I remembered that I truly love this man and that he would normally do anything I asked him to do. In that moment, the magnitude of his tasks strutted its bravado across my mind and I couldn’t deny its presence.

I succumbed to the truth but it didn’t set me free. It did, however, cause me to check my ego and realize the importance of what he (also) had to do.

I’m not always right and there’s nothing like an intimate relationship to remind one of that. Also, what I have to do can’t always be the center of attention-no matter how much Tanesha begs to differ. A relationship will either teach you or break you. When kids are involved, it does both!

The next time you and your loved one bump heads or to-do lists, try to think about things from his/her perspective (as well as your own). It’s always best to straitjacket your ego before you Thor’s-hammer your loved one to the great beyond!

Remember, it’s not all about you… or him/her. It has to be about both of you and sometimes you have to put in a chain gang’s amount of work to figure that ish out.

 

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